Sue to Daughter
by aprun
Summary: we've got marysue bashing, a weird situation, and comedy! What more could you ask for? No really, what could you ask for...That means review


Disclaimer- to make this simpler, I own NOTHING! So anything here besides actual story belongs to whoever created or whatever in the first place. so just read in peace!

Sue to Daughter

"_by order of the ministry of magic, all mary-sues must report to the ministry of magic's new department, the mary-sue department, and shipped back to their creators, where they will become the daughters of said creators and live the rest of their lives in the muggle realm and away from us,_"

Exactly five hours after the new law had been passed and sent out, the sound of packing could be heard throughout Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. The 'normal' students blew a sigh of relief as hundreds of girls passed through the great hall.

After the mary-sue invasion, even Hogwarts with its expanding magic, could not hold the hoard of imaginary girls. Every single room and bathroom had become immensely overcrowded and the house-elves cried when they had to cook every meal, a first in history. Thankfully, the ministry of magic had actually come through...for once. So now all the mary-sues portkeyed or apparated (even though it was supposed to be impossible on Hogwarts grounds) to the ministry of magic and the party of the century commenced within the now seemingly drooping walls of Hogwarts.

Exactly a week later, all the mary-sues were transported to their rightful creators. The chaos inside the ministry of magic quieted as hundreds of workers sighed in relief from sore hands and fingers. Many of them wondered what the creators would do when they discovered their new 'surprise'. In truth, the usual reaction was this...

_Bethany, a fifteen year old girl, flexed her fingers as she finished another chapter of Harry Potter fanfiction. "I'm sure to get an award for this!" she exclaimed out loud. Suddenly, the door bell rang. Being the only person in the house, Bethany forced herself up and powder her acme filled face before finally answering the door. Before her were two stunning, beautfiul, _familiar_ girls that made her want to be lesbian. She forced out a hello and leaned against the door. "Well, there isn't an easy way to say this, but we're you're daughters from _The lovely bethany _and_ Don't you want to kiss me Draco Malfoy?_. Seeing as how you created us, the ministry of magic which is real, declared us your daughters! Isn't that great! heh heh heh?" Bethany gasped out a prove it. Wordlessly, one of the girls took out a wand out performed a quick summoning charm on their baggage. Of course, Bethany fainted, but her last thought was, "Like hell I'm carrying that stuff upstairs,"_

Yet that is not the end of the story... Oh no...the greater story lies back in Hogwarts where the golden trio lay in the common room of Gryffindor.

Ron had situated himself in a comfy couch, Hermion sat on another couch reading a book, while Harry sat in front of the fireplace brooding. Suddenly, he turned around and faced Hermione. "Y'know, Hermione, I was just thinking for a sec about the mary-sues and everything, when I realized something. Aren't you kinda like, Rowling's mary-sue?" The book dropped out of Hermione's hands and clattered to the floor. She quickly regained her composure and snapped at Harry, "That's impossible Harry! I'm part of canon!" Harry shrugged, "So, you could still be a mary-sue. You got the grades for it, and are probably the embodiment of J.K Rowling's unfulfilled dreams...," Harry's seemingly insane rant was interrupted by the appearance of Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor McGonagal, and Professor Snape. "Thank goodness you're here professors, Harry seems to be overstressed by the appearance and disappearance of the Mary-Sues! Surely you could put him right?" However, the three (excluding Snape who wore a creepy smile on his face, though any smile WOULD be creepy on the git's face) looked anything but on Hermione's side. "I'm afraid he's right dear, you are her Mary-Sue. We found out through the Mary-Sue detection monitor. I'm afraid you have to go," Dumbledore said kindly. He summoned Hermione's things to her and handed the now stuttering girl a delayed portkey. In the background, McGonagal cried for the lost of IQ points in her house, while Snape did a creepier jig (Though any jig he does WOULD be creepy). After another, awkward ten seconds, Hermione and her luggage disappeared. The three professors disappeared through the portrait hole leaving behind a confused, now golden duo. Ron was the first that spoke, "Well damn, who're we going to copy our homework off now?"

Yet that is still not the end of the story...so now we continue on to where the portkey begins, and where it stops...

A second after Hermione disappeared in Hogwarts, did she reappear in the middle of a somewhat urban area. She looked around, but then noticed the crowd of fans surrounding one house. Shrugging, she brought out her wand and cast a massive _stupefy_ charm. She then proceeded to walk up to the house and ring the doorbell. "For the last time! HARRY POTTER DOES NOT EXIST! THEREFORE, I DO NOT HAVE A PORTKEY TO THE MAGICAL WORLD, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!" J.K Rowling screamed. Hermione blinked, then sent a _silencio_ at Rowling. "This may seem as a shock to you, but magic does exist, well thanks to you and your imagination I could guess. Anyway, it caused an influx of Mary-sues and... oh forget it, I might as well use that Gryffindor courage right now... Ms. J.K Rowling, I'm your daughter from the magical world which you created from your imagination and under ministry of magic law, must live with your for the rest of our lives!" An audible thump was heard and Rowling's real daughter popped her head out after eavesdropping on the whole conversation. "Does this mean you can help me with my homework?" Hermione shrugged and walked inside by stepping over the inert J.K Rowling with her luggage floating behind her.


End file.
